My training I just took last week centers on having the kids work out their own problems through using time lines and lots of discussions. The discussion works several ways. First it helps them drain off some of the anger because you are asking lots of questions. It helps to form a time line so there is a clear picture of what, when where something happened. So it helps them to look at things from others view not just theres. Then it helps them to work on new tools to solve their own problems. No about telling them what they need to do to fix it.
Does this take lots of time? Yes it does. But it is time spent communicating with the child in a healthy way and forming connections rather than time spent yelling and arguing with them. This morning I had to have 4 discussions with 4 different kids before the bus came. But everyone left the house with smiles on their face and I am not stressed at all, and feel like we accomplished something.
As they said in our training last week. They are going to get your time. You can either choose to give it to them in a good way or in a confrontation.
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