How did you know that this was/is your forever family?
I think this is the most asked question when I go to speaking events. I have never known the proper answer to this question and I am pretty sure I still don’t. I mean how do you really know that the person you are meant to marry is the right one? How are you sure that you know that your dream job is the one that you really want? You just know right? Or you had a feeling.
For me it was a lot like that and no matter how much I tried to push away the feeling or push away the family I was meant to have. It didn’t work. I pushed them away because I had never had that feeling of safety or permanency. Which mostly every foster child would experience. It’s hard to get close to people when all you have ever seen are the backs of people’s head when the walk out of your life.
So my answer is I have no clue.
I just felt like for once when someone told me that it was going to be okay that it really was going to be okay. I knew that no matter what I had a family that loved me and would always protect me. I felt like I could be a teenager and worry about normal teenage girl things. Like if my secret crush was ever going to like me back, or if I was going to pass a test at school, or even what I was going to wear to the pep rallies at school.
The moment me and my parents where in that court room on my adoption day was surreal. It was like I could finally breathe. And I knew that this was not the end of my story with them but just the very beginning.