When Mother's day rolls around each year, people think that because I am a mom of 19 kids and have a big family that I should celebrate big too. Well let me explain why it is not a celebratory time for all of us foster/adoptive Mom's. On Mother's day we have more arguments, meltdowns and fights from our children than any other day of the year.
Mother's day is a reminder to our children that we are the ones that have stepped up in place of the bio Mom's. There are reminders to our children everywhere they turn. With all the cards, flowers, pictures at school, church with card making activities and TV commercials, that the one they should be celebrating is the one that is not there for them. There are always homey images of Mom's baking cookies, bandaging knees and washing dirty faces.
So how does that effect the ones that are a part of their lives? They turn all of the anger, rage, disappointment, and hurt that they have held inside. All the things they have missed, growing up without their biological Mom's. They save all of that up just for us and usually choose Mother's day as the very special day to vomit all of these feeling back out just for us.
Thank God my children have mostly outgrown this phase. I have survived. So Mom's everywhere hang in there it does get better.
There are 12 Mom's out there right now that their children call me Mom. As much as I love my children I would gladly give all of that up if they had not had to face the hurt of abandonment that they have felt. But I thank God every day for giving me a chance to love these kids.